You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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