Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You can't just leave with hair like that
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
