You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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