oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
