I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Randomize
