I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
