Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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