sarcasm needs its own font
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
