HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
