Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
