im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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