I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
