these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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