oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
