I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
