I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
