wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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