I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
