When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
