He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
