I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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