How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
