he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
