The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
