i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
