Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
