I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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