I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
