Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
