I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize