you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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