I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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