Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
