It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Actions speak louder than pants.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
