I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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