Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
God I need to hump something, right now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
