there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize