Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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