operation harelip BJ is a go
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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