You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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