I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
