someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
