My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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