Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
