I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize