i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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