So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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