im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The beer is more important than you right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you never un-have a 4some
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