you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
