just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
