No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
