i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
