kristin has been a bad kristin
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
