theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
