Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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