First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
areolas are like halos for boobs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So much rum. So many feels.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
