Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
