Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
