If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle