She said her name was "party"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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