Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
