Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
