She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
