I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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