Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.