what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.