Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.