Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm not a real person

(586): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry, everyone knows that

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(586): I'm not a real person (586): I'm sorry, everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/uvd5

Replies (4) Good night (766) Bad night (864)
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(970): View more from Colorado

He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster

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(970): He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster http://tfl.nu/ubg8

Replies (86) Good night (894) Bad night (3614) Order T-Shirt
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(952): View more from Minnesota

So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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(952): So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome http://tfl.nu/t5m3

Replies (12) Good night (6287) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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(401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn

Replies (15) Good night (745) Bad night (6465) Order T-Shirt
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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(807): I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature. http://tfl.nu/rbpc

Replies (47) Good night (6341) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.

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(815): We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad. http://tfl.nu/wyhj

Replies (9) Good night (5724) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.

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(203): just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now. http://tfl.nu/42b8

Replies (7) Good night (2586) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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(816): He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP. http://tfl.nu/4ge4

Replies (22) Good night (6184) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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(757): i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas http://tfl.nu/kf1k

Replies (13) Good night (2915) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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(302): View more from Delaware

you goin out tonight?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

who is this.

(302): View more from Delaware

your orgasm for tonight

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(302): you goin out tonight? (267): who is this. (302): your orgasm for tonight http://tfl.nu/bzdn

Replies (12) Good night (4915) Bad night (655)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.

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(412): The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD. http://tfl.nu/wyib

Replies (1) Good night (1498) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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(+44): Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome! http://tfl.nu/jhr8

Replies (2) Good night (1849) Bad night (336)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.

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(205): Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation. http://tfl.nu/ln89

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(775): View more from Nevada

Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha

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(775): Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha http://tfl.nu/7v5q

Replies (9) Good night (1343) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.

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(818): Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest. http://tfl.nu/joqb

Replies (9) Good night (1160) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt

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