K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
