the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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