I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
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She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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