It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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